Reporting to Your Employer
Reporting to your employer can be an effective step towards ending the sexual harassment you’ve been experiencing. The following points may help guide you with this process:
The Sooner, the Better
I recommend reporting the harassment as soon as you recognize that it is harassment. In some cases, this may be as the harassment is happening, but in others, it may take weeks, months, or years. Truthfully, it may take some time to actually recognize and admit to yourself that you are being sexually harassed — I understand. It took me over two years to admit to myself that I was being sexually harassed. A part of me was also too proud to admit that I couldn’t tolerate the harassment like the other women in the office. I was only able to summon the courage (and set my pride aside) to report it when I became concerned that a newly-hired young, female employee was also going to experience the same harassment. Had I reported it earlier, however, I would have started the ball rolling to end the harassment, thereby saving myself years worth of mental and emotional suffering.
It’s OK if it’s Difficult
For me, reporting sexual harassment to my employer took a massive amount of personal strength (and self-love) because it forced me to take on a new, unwanted identity — the identity of being a target of sexual harassment. I felt as if my coworkers and supervisors were now seeing me not as myself, but through a new, darker lens. As time went on, however, I learned to differentiate those in my office, and agency, that truly cared about my well-being from those that simply viewed me as a new inconvenience.
Notify Your Support System
Have a candid conversation with your support system to let them know that you are going to be reporting the harassment. Hopefully, they’ll be able to give you a much-needed vote of confidence, or even better, a pep talk! In addition, you may also inspire others in your support system to report sexual harassment that they may be experiencing.
Report it to Someone You Trust
If you don’t feel comfortable reporting to your direct supervisor or the designated HR representative, then I encourage you to report it to any other management or authority figure that you feel comfortable sharing your experience with and can reach out to your company on your behalf.
Reporting Anonymously is an Option
If you aren’t comfortable reporting the harassment as yourself, you can usually submit an anonymous complaint to management or a Human Resources representative. Be aware though, that your employer may not be able to investigate or address the harassment if they aren’t aware of specific details, such as when and where the incident(s) occurred and who was involved.
Document. Everything.
When reporting to the designated person, such as HR representative, supervisor, or manager, there are two major points to keep in mind:
Specifically state that you feel you are experiencing harassment; and
Provide as much detail as possible about the incident via written communication.
If you have a meeting with the designated person to discuss this, take diligent notes during the meeting. In addition, send a follow-up email, summarizing the meeting subject, key take-aways, action items, and a request that the company keep this issue confidential. As always, take screenshots of all written records for your personal files and add all meetings, or any other noteworthy interaction, to your log. I know this sounds formal, but if the issue escalates, a written record of the incidents will become critical. And by following these procedures, your company will not only be more likely to take you seriously, but also to resolve the issue quickly.
Report. Everything.
It is also important to report each and every incident to your company, despite the level of severity. Informing your workplace of each incident can prevent future incidents from occurring. In addition, if the issue escalates, you will have a record of the pattern of incidents that you have reported.
Propose Solutions (if you have them)
When you meet with management to report the sexual harassment, you can recommend solutions that you think could stop the harassment. For example, this may mean transitioning to telework to limit interactions with the harasser, clearly stating that you will only answer phone calls from the harasser if they have been previously scheduled, or only meeting with the harasser if a third person is present. However, always remember that it is your employer’s responsibility to provide you with a safe working environment, thus finding ways to mitigate or end the harassment is ultimately not your responsibility.
Be Prepared to Escalate Your Complaint
If others in your office are also experiencing harassment, there is a good chance that they have either 1) already reported the harassment and your supervisor failed to address it, or; 2) they fear that your supervisor will retaliate against them for reporting it, or both. If this is the case (as it was for me), don’t hesitate to reach out to upper-level management to voice your concerns. As always, remember to choose temporary discomfort over chronic resentment.
If you are experiencing, sexual harassment, retaliation, or any other form of workplace discrimination, feel free to reach out to me at hello@kendallsimon.com for support and guidance.
***Disclaimer: These are merely my recommendations based on my personal experience. I am not legally responsible for any decisions made based on the information provided.***