Forming a Support System
When I, personally, began to realize and admit to myself that I was being sexually harassed at work, I felt shameful for being the target. I was embarrassed for not recognizing and ending the harassment sooner. But most of all, I was angry that this had become such an obstacle in my life - something that I now had to spend my precious time and energy to navigate. And with each step that I took to remedy my situation, I felt a little, dark tentacle of insecurity creeping into my psyche - a tiny voice saying “Who do you think you are? No one else is making a fuss - why don’t you just stay in your lane?”
Please know that you are not alone — there are plenty of strong women (and men) out there ready to help - including me! Here are some key points to remember when you believe you are being sexually harassed and are looking for a support system to encourage and guide you.
Your Greatest Defense
I found my support system to be my greatest defense against feelings of insecurity. My support system was especially crucial during the early days, when I was in the thick of it, just struggling to stay afloat. Whether it’s friends, family members, a therapist, online forums, (or myself!), I highly recommend actively seeking out a community that can provide reassurance during times of doubt. I firmly believe that you are a reflection of those that surround you, so surround yourself with strong, empowering voices. Voices that can remind you of these facts:
Everything you are feeling is valid.
You do not have to endure this just because others before you have.
By speaking up, you are protecting the next woman.
Your well-being is your top priority.
You are never alone.
Coworkers as a Support System
I suggest reaching out to fellow coworkers that are also aware of the atmosphere and interpersonal dynamics of your workplace. I realize this may be a tough conversation to broach, but don’t let your fear of judgement keep you from seeking support. You may find that some don’t want to be associated with the topic in any way — that’s ok. Don’t dwell on it or take offense, this simply isn’t a part of their life's journey. Focus on connecting with those that do understand.
You may already know someone who is also experiencing this harassment — reach out to them. Ask them about their experience. Tell them that you have begun documenting inappropriate behavior and advise them to do the same. This applies to discrimination, retaliation, or any other form of maltreatment in the workplace. You won’t know the level, range, or severity of inappropriate behavior that others are experiencing unless you open those lines of communication. Frequent check-ins with others that are experiencing the same treatment will not only provide a source of support, but it will help you plan a path forward.
Find Resources!
I highly recommend reaching out to resources that specialize in sexual harassment and discrimination, such as myself, an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission counselor, or an attorney. These resources can help you navigate tough situations, and help you decide if/when to take legal action.
Strength in Numbers
Unfortunately, we live in a society that places less value on the voice of those experiencing sexual harassment and more value on keeping the status quo. So remember, if those who are being sexually harassed do not communicate with each other, the system benefits. Plus, the more voices that are willing to speak, the more difficult it becomes to dismiss them. There is always strength in numbers.
If you are experiencing, sexual harassment, retaliation, or any other form of workplace discrimination, feel free to reach out to me at hello@kendallsimon.com for support and guidance.
***Disclaimer: These are merely my recommendations based on my personal experience. I am not legally responsible for any decisions made based on the information provided.***